Turo Virta: 1:08

Hey and welcome back to the podcast. Today, I want to talk something that almost everyone struggled with, and that is, what do you actually do when you don't feel motivated? Because, let's be honest, some days feel easy and some days everything feels hard. And most people think I just need more motivation. I just need more discipline. But that's not the solution. So today I will walk you through exactly what I do on those days when I don't feel like training, eating or doing anything, and I will also share a few real examples from my clients. So first thing is, the biggest mistake I see is this that people wait until they feel ready, and I will start when I feel motivated. I will start when I'm not that busy. And that is like the biggest or you will, you will say that I have that holiday coming up in in a couple of weeks, and now I it's just, it just makes us more sense to wait until that kind of perfect moment is coming. But that, and that is, that is the biggest like you have to once you have that, you know that you have to get started. Get started. You don't need to be perfect four times, three times a week, workout per week, but just get started in some way. What we are going to talk a little bit later, but just get started at some point, because that ultimately that action, it creates momentum. And once you get started, it's so much easier to keep going, even in a small way, than just delaying that start, because I, if someone I have been guilty myself for this several, several times over the past decades and years. And that is, that is when I look back, that is that the delaying that start is one of the biggest mistakes. So it's ultimately, if you are waiting, that you feel motivated. It's like saying that I will go to burp when I feel like it. So let me give you an example. It's a I worked with the it's that's now not so long time ago, but that she said she was busy, two kids, full time job, and every, every week, she told me that this week I didn't feel motivated. So what happened? So she skipped training, and the next week, same story, nothing changed. And then we made, we made one simple change, and I, I still remember this vividly. She stopped waiting for motivation. And it sounds how, how you did it, how you did it, because, and it's, it sounds very simple. It wasn't easy. And we, we created a plan that felt easy on even on those busiest weeks. And what was something that she didn't hate, but she actually felt like that. Okay? This is even I don't feel motivated. This is something I would be doing and and ultimately, she drank when she didn't even feel like not perfectly, but consistently. And that is when you start to create that momentum, then it's so much easier. Like other example is Catherine. It's, I still remember, that's like two, three years ago, when she was just it was a summer time she was about to see knew that she had well deserved holiday, waiting for in two weeks. And then she was asking that, what you think? What is your opinion? Okay, she knew my answer, but she was asking that, should I start before holiday or after? Because, obviously, we are very good to justify those things to get started later, and then, then, see, she was thinking, that is it, does it make even sense to get started before holiday? Is that, of course, because, as you probably know, this is, it's, it's you ultimately, deep inside, you know the answer, but it's always we are trying to find that justification. Why not to get started right away? And that was, that was exactly the case. And but once she gets started, she went from zero workouts to two workouts per week, and not because that. She felt like that. Now, now it's time, and then when that holiday was coming up, okay, see, he didn't work out. She decided to walk there. And then after that, she didn't have to start from zero. She was already continuing. She just insert herself in that one week. And then it was so much easier to keep going instead of instead of starting and and she already felt so much better even the holiday. Of course, holiday is holiday you eat and drink and do things differently, but she still felt so much better because she stopped waiting, and she was already taking action. And that is other thing, what I what I see so often, like for most of the people who are, who are struggling, it's, it's like, you know, you might be doing everything well, and then you are, you go for holiday vacation for for a week, you have a little bit good time enjoying your holiday. And then you jump on the scale, you see that all this shit, I lost all my progress, so I fucked it already up. So what is the point even keep going. And that is exactly the moment when, when you are your biggest, your own biggest enemy. Because if you really think it like that, what is, what is actually happening is in in that you insert yourself for a week, and it's like same, if you have a car, you you have a flat tire, and then you are going to, you're going to tell yourself that, no, I have one flat tire, and I'm going to slash all other three tires because I fucked it up. No, you probably that's not the smartest way to do it. And it's like in your fitness stop slashing your three tires, which are okay. Instead, fix that one and keep going, because that's how you are justifying that your actions for yourself that now it feels so hard. It's the what is the point? There is no point going because I already fucked it up. So just don't let one bad meal, one bad week, one bad month, to give yourself justification to stop quitting, stop doing. Because what matters is that actually that consistency, and once you stop quitting and starting over, that's that's when things are going to change. So, so if you you are just literally, it sounds very simple, but it's the truth that once you are getting back on track, it doesn't matter what happened. So don't let that one flat tire to ruin everything. It's just you fix it and you keep going. So that's the that's how it works, also with the weight loss, with the fat loss, with the motivation. It's it's it one day, one week, one month. Because if you think there are so many people who are who have never worked out, they are in their 60s, 70s, and they have never worked out, but then all of a sudden they decided, now it's time to do something, and that is the moment you can get back on everything. And you are not, Buddy is not you are not losing even the scale weight is something. You are not losing your progress within the first or for one missed workout, one bad meal, one bad week, one that month. So just it says, literally, it's very simple. It says that you have to stop justifying those your actions with your automatic thinking from for the future. So then other thing, what I, what I when I don't feel motivated, I don't push harder, and that is, that is, what is, what has been for myself, the biggest game changer, I make it easier for myself, and that is where most people go wrong. So they think that I need to do more, but what they actually need is, is to make it so easy that you can't say no. So this is now when I'm recording this, I It's on Monday, and, for example, last two weeks, it's, it's, my personal goal is to get started with the strength training, not doing one hour workouts, but just to get started two times per week. And in my workout app, it's, it's just, it tracks. You can set your own goals. And for me, my goal is to do strength training. It's because it's, it's form of exercise that I don't personally enjoy doing, but I know I need to be doing to feel the best version of myself. So that is something that I really, really struggle every week, but it sets you a workout goal. And for me, it's two times per week, and that then five exercises, two sets. So it's all together, thin set of work, two times per week, and that's it. And so, for example, last two weeks, I did one I broke out during the week, and then it was a weekend. And honestly, I didn't feel at all working out, but I knew that I want to keep my strike going on like I have been so consistent doing my two workouts, and I knew that okay, if I I need 15 at most, 20 minutes to do. Get that bare minimum. And so wise that I gotta do I pick from my program the exercises I enjoy the most, and do only those five exercises, two set seats, and that's, I call it a day, and that's what I did. I and when I, of course, it was not I didn't train my legs because that's something what I naturally don't enjoy. I need to do it. But I pick upper body workouts, upper body exercises, what I decided to do. And that is, that is something then when I when I finished the workout, of course, it was probably not the best possible workout, but I felt so much better from myself that I actually did it. And that is, it's just I keep strike going, and now next week, it's so much easier to keep going. I'm feeling good about myself. I keep promises. What I make to myself, and I I made it. It was still not easy to get started. But this is so little that this I can do even in the days when I don't feel like motivated, when I don't feel motivated, and that is something. What I changed in the past was earlier, I was like that, if I can't work out 30 minutes, 45 minutes, what is the point even to get started? And now I'm all over. And big believer of even doing short workouts, keeping the momentum going and keeping most of all the promises I make to myself. So this is that has been a game changer, because in the past, I would probably skip the Virta this time I feel tired, I don't feel like doing it. I know I'm not motivated. I will start next week again. And then, of course, next week was the same story. And maybe that week I didn't do anything at all, and so then and then week by week. As you know, it's so much easier to just justify for yourself this that now what is the point I missed already week or two? So I know I will be most likely sore, so it's I start next week or week after that, when everything is getting more quiet. So this is, this is just our own selves and our self talk, how we justify these things. And it's, it's just to get started and lowering the bar. And I have a great example. One of my clients Ingrid, she's an amazing example, and she had always taste that when everything felt too much, she had no energy. There was a lot of stress in her work and family situations. Sleep wasn't the most optimal, and earlier she would say, I can't do the full workout, so I did nothing, and we changed it. When we talked, she said that while I was asking her, what, what is the bare minimum, what you could be doing instead? Of course, nothing is not an option, and I would just change my clothes. Broke out five to 10 minutes, and sometimes it was a short walk, maybe it was one or two exercises, or even just changing her workout clothes and showing up. And this would happen. Some days she stopped after 10 minutes, but many days she kept going, because starting is the hardest part, and when you lower the bar and just tell yourself that all I need to do is getting started, and then you can always make a decision if you keep going or if you don't. And some days, if it's no, it's totally fine, you prove the point for yourself and kept going. And this is the next rule. Is kind of, kind of what I what I already talked little bit, but it's to have a minimum day rule. And this is one of the most powerful tools I use. So I give you a real situation. So I had a client who told me that if I can follow the plan perfectly, I feel like I failed so on visitors, save it, nothing, no training, no structure, just chaos. So we created a minimum plan. On bad days, it was 10 minute walk or one proper meal with protein and drink water, that's it so. And she said something very interesting. After a few weeks, I feel like I'm finally consistent, not because she was perfect, but but because she stopped quitting. And these are these are just such that you can have so many different ways of thinking that what is the bare minimum? One two simple things. It could be simply just drinking water, having one proper meal with protein, or having a 10 minute walk, for example, after your lunch. And that's it. It don't really need to be more. If there is. I know many of you who are listening are so busy with the work with everything that there is literally it's, it's almost impossible to get something in. But if you You will find that five minute, 10 minute walk at some point, if you really look your day and where you want to do it, and that is, you get that feeling that now you are finally consistent. So that is, that is actually the game changer, because you stop quitting and you keep you are actually becoming consistent. And then what I, what I want to fourth tip is, what I, what is, what is, one of my favorite tools is to remove those decisions, because when you are tired, your brain wants easy and decisions are hard. So what I do is I remove my decisions. I let me give you another example. So I've operated a client who struggled with everything. So she came home tired and asked herself, what should I eat? Should I train? Do I feel like and most evenings, she chose the couch and snacks, so we simplified everything. It was the breakfast was always the same. There was always the same lunch planned training days, so there was no thinking. And after a few weeks, she told me, it feels easier now. I don't overthink it anymore, and that's the goal. So this is by what I personally do is that I look my, usually it's on a weekend or Sunday, I look my next week schedule, and I look today's what I, what I what, what meetings, what work, what everything is there. And then I said, I decide before that, obviously, ultimately, I I would love to do three strength trainings per week, but most of most of the time it's it's, or most of the weeks it's two times it's more realistically, and, and, but I put those workouts into my calendar, and this is my workout. It's in my calendar. It's from I need to do, personally, my workouts earlier in today, I'm not at yet in summertime, it's easier to get started, like 6am or even earlier. I know I have a clients who what is the only, only option to do it. My working schedule is often that I have more appointments, workouts, afternoons, evenings, so my own workouts, I have to be doing them in the morning, and that is the only time when I know that I'm actually going to do them. Because there is no distractions I don't find I find less excuses for myself to try to skip it, because I know myself if I plan my own workouts, if I don't have some appointment, I won't be I won't get myself getting to work done in afternoon or in the evening. So I gotta do my own workouts earlier in the day, and I put them into my calendar. I said, this is the time Wednesday and Thursday, or Wednesday and Friday, whatever, and it's in my calendar. It's not an equitable I don't ask myself if I feel motivated, if I'm tired, that's the time when I promise myself to get started, and that is the time when I change my clothes, I go to my garage gym and do at least one exercise. And most of all, because I have that, I track my consistency. I want to keep that, my straight going on. So I I want to do those five exercises, two sets of each so, so then working sets in workout, and then I call it a day if I don't feel like doing more. But this is, this is something that it's, it's the bare minimum, and what I'm actually doing, and this is this have been so helpful. And it's also that that earlier, I was thinking that, you know, my own work. I of course, there's it's work is important. I love what I do, and it's most important thing in the world. But when I changed thinking that, no, this is time, what I need for myself to be the best version of myself and helping others the best possible way I can, I need to take first care of myself? And that is not because first I thought that this is selfish, that if I, if I take time for my own workout, I can skip it, and I can, if I skip my workout, I have time to help others more. But I understood that I, before taking care of anything, I have to do at least bare minimum for myself, and that is not selfish. So you might have other things, work, everything, family, to take care of, but we all need some time, some time for your ourselves, because if you don't take that, you won't have the same emergency, same confidence, and you won't be even with when you are surrounded with other peoples. You won't be the first best person of yourself if you struggle yourself with these things. So it's not selfish. You have to take bit in that kind of selfish to it. Don't need to be a lot, but you need to plan and schedule time for yourself. And then tip number five is questions and changing the questions you are asking yourself. So because most people are asking, Do I feel like doing this? And that question kills action. So if I, if I ask myself that, do I feel like doing like there are things I naturally enjoy doing if I, if I, if I, if my wife is asking me for a walk that is something what I naturally enjoy. And there is it's always that, okay, let's go. If my friend is calling me to play tennis or hockey, that is something that, you know I enjoy. I'm always there. I don't feel like that. I need some motivation, because I always feel like doing it, almost but, but if it's a strength training and and what is something that I don't necessarily enjoy doing? And if I ask myself that, do I feel like doing this? The answer is almost always no. But instead I ask, what is the smallest thing I can do today. And I give you an example. I had a client, Sylvia, who was struggling a lot in the evening, so she told me that I always feel like I messed up today. So instead of fixing everything, we focused on one thing and and that was the changing question. And she was asking that, what is the one good choice you can still make? And sometimes it was a walk after dinner, not going back for second dessert, or it was just simply going to bed earlier, and that small win changed the whole feeling of the day. So even in the worst days, it might give that quick satisfaction when you grab for a second dessert, but when you change the way and do one good choice, even in a hard day, that changed is the whole feeling of that day. And then from that, the next step is that accepting those hard days, because every not every day, will be good, and that's totally normal. I just had a client, but who, who recently said that this week was a mess, that there was a bad sleep, there was a lot of stress work. I had zero energy, but when we looked closer, she still trained. Once, she walked more than usually, and she ate a bit better, and I told her, this is actually a good week, because life is not perfect and progress is not perfect, and that says like you have to it's also your own expectations. If this is just an example, that you might not see it, because your own expectations are so high that you are not seeing you, you were actually doing more than you would do in normal, be normal case, and normal weeks like this. So this is, this is if, if bearable, or six months ago, this kind of week, you still, you won't do anything, and now you were able to train once, to put to get one or two walk walks in and eat a bit better. And it doesn't mean that you have you are doing perfectly, because our own expectations is always that everything have to be perfect. But understanding that where you compare yourself, if you compare yourself to what is the ideal week, you will most weeks you won't, you will feel pretty silly about yourself. But if you compare what you did in the past in this kind of situation, and you were able to improve, this is a good week, because life is not perfect, and there is not single person who is having every week perfect after a week. Then next step is that identity shift, and this is the deeper, deeper level. So because I learned, like I said in the beginning, I don't rely on motivation. I rely on the identity. And I want to give you a very powerful example. So one of my clients used to say that I'm just not a disciplined person, and that was her identity. So every time things got hard, she quit, she she didn't do it in didn't do it anymore. She were justifying for herself to have a real chew off because life was busy, there was stress, things were happening, and we overcame from that when we changed that slowly. So we changed those promises that it was to getting started two workouts per week. It was eating simple meals and having short walks where she could fit them, and after three months, she said that, I think I'm becoming someone who actually does this. And that's the shift. It's not perfect, but it's consistent. So you hear me telling all these things, and I'm sure you know you have heard about them, but you haven't been able to put them into action. So this is that deeper stuff changing your identity, and one of the best questions, if you have goals that you want to become healthier person or stronger or something, and you make 10s of 1000s of decisions, even they you might not even recognize them, but you make those kind of decisions every single Day. It starts in the morning. What you are wearing? Are you pressing your teeth? Are you stopping when there is a red light? So those are all decisions. And then there is that it feels that there is a big decision that am I going to work out or not? But once you start to ask questions like that, what would be the person then, for example, when you decided what you are going to eat, or are you eating at all, which is, by the way, not the best, best way to do it, but when you make decisions what you are going to eat, you ask yourself question, what would be the person with my calls want to become healthier eating these diseases? Would you eat the fruit? Would you take a second dessert? You know, those are questions, and it don't like I said earlier several times, every decision don't need to be perfect, but once you get couple more smarter, better decisions during the day. That's the way how you are starting to change your identity. You become healthier version of yourself, you feel confident, you start to feel that I'm actually able to do this. And that is how you start to change your identity. And that is a deeper thing. And it starts with small actions. It's it's never going to be that now, all of a sudden, you become perfect because all or nothing, thinking that's our worst enemy. So to summarize this, I want to keep this simple, so when you don't feel motivated, stop waiting. Make it easier. Have a minimum day. What is the bare minimum you can do each day, and remove those decisions. So example, putting your workouts into Calendar. Get your workout clothes visible, start taking that action before you start to find those excuses. I don't feel like I'm stressed. I don't have time. No, it's there. You start to take action. You start to change your clothes. And if you once you have changed your clothes, you have done one body weight, squat or one exercise. You can tell yourself that now I started. I give myself permission to quit now because I already started. But like, you know, once you get started, it's there are chances are pretty high that you end up keep going and you don't quit and do always something small, and then you have to accept those hard days when they are because they are part of the process, and focus on who you want to become. And if you remember one thing, you don't need motivation. You need small actions you can repeat. And if this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs it. And if you want help building a plan that works even on your worst days, shoot medium in my instagram at personal trainer, underline Turo or email me Turo at dig me. Turo.com thank you so much for listening and talk to you in the next episode.