Turo Virta: 1:03

Hey and welcome back to the podcast. Today, I want to talk something little bit deeper than just calories. It's not about protein, not about carbs, not fat, loss therapies, because I want to talk about trust, specifically, why so many people don't trust themselves with food anymore? Because here is what I see all the time, people know what to eat. They have read the books, they have tried the plants. They have tracked calories. They have done keto, low carb, low fat, fasting, all dates, all all diets. What has some name attacked? So information is not the problem in 2026 anymore. The problem is trust. So, but why? How did that then happen, that we we lost that trust, so most people didn't wake up one day and decide to mistrust themselves. It happened all slowly, because of years of dieting, years of good and bad foods. Years of studying over Mondays, years of feeling guilty after eating. And over time, you stop listening to hunger, you stop listening to fullness, you stop listening to your body, and instead, you listen to rules, and when the rules break, you don't blame the rule, you blame yourself. And that's where trust starts to disappear and and that is that is something like

Unknown: 2:54

if, if you, if you

Turo Virta: 2:59

think that I have had so many, so many people when this actually happened, and I want to share one example of of

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Sylvia, who was, who she was. She was very

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accurate with tracking, and she could tell me exactly how many calories were in everything, and she knew all the macros better than most, better than myself, for sure, and but everything she felt like she had no more control, not because she didn't know what to do, but because she has, she had been restricting all day, and the moment stretch stress was hitting her, the structure collapsed. So that was, that was a moment when she realized that it's not, it's not all about rules, all about tracking calories. So because the what do you think when you think that it's kind of all in or nothing mindset, what is actually causing that damage? Because so many people think that the problem is lack of discipline, but often the real problem is extreme control. So when you restrict heart, you create rebound. When you label food as off limits, you increase the desire. So when you, if you really think it, when you try to eat perfectly, all day, evenings, more often than not, become chaos. And then what happens you? In most cases, you will overeat. You will feel guilt. You promise to be stricter tomorrow for yourself, and every cycle you repeat this, it reduces your self trust, because now your brain is telling that you can't handle that freedom. You need more rules, but more rules are actually what caused the problem. So that is the problem with all those rules. They are in some cases, they are helping, but more often than not, more rules are what are actually causing the problem. So then was, then I'm, I have to say I'm big believer, believer of tracking, not because it's the perfect way of doing it, and I'm, I'm also the one who doesn't. For most people, I believe that you shouldn't be tracking your food all the time. And the reason why, why I believe like it's there. I know I have heard many people that some of some people say that tracking helps. It's the only way that you know you are creating rules or or you are creating that you know what you are actually doing. And it's it's very true, and it's for some people, it works very well, even in the long term, that they rather track their food so they know exactly what is their like. Kind of budget you have your budget, and this you are allowing to like, if you think it in a money, you are allowing yourself to spend this much money that you are not going over your budget or or, I mean, it's helpful, but if you, if you are all the time, if you become obsessed with that, it takes away also from that freedom, enjoyment and what I believe that it's very, very important to be able to actually, truly enjoy, also life moments. Because if you are in a birthday party and you are thinking that, Oh, can I eat that cake? Because I'm I have 150 calories left, but this slice of cake is 250 so I would go 100 calories over my budget. And that is, that is the situation where you shouldn't be tracking, but at some point you have to look at what are your daily habits and and if you have some kind of rules in a place, but which also allows you to have a freedom. So why didn't that tracking is not the enemy? Because this is something very, very important, because tracking is not the enemy. So because many people are thinking like that, if I track I'm controlling everything and but there is a like I said, there is a big difference between control and awareness and tracking can actually repeat the trust if you are using it correctly. It's not to punish yourself, it's not to restrict harder, but to observe, to understand how much you are actually eating, and where those calories are adding up, and how your hunger feels when tracking becomes data instead of judgment, trust slowly comes back. So this is, this is very, very important, because it's because it should, it should be just the data. You know, when you are looking your average steps per month, it's, it's, you see that, okay, this is data. If you look it's the same way, whatever you are tracking. It should be, in a long term, you are looking averages. And instead of focusing like of course, it's important to focus on those daily values, but not to get to obsessed with them, then you are you are seeing because what matters is that long term process, long term, what is happening in the long term. And not even those daily means are important. But it doesn't mean that one day is if you one day, you go over your calories, you didn't hit your step code, that whole month is ruined, that you need start over. So it's more like all scale rate is the same thing. If you think that, you know, all of sudden, I gained two kilos overnight that now I lost everything. No, it's, it's one data point in the long term. And if you look like how the way, for example, how I do it myself with my weight, I I find it very, very valuable to look my weight wake myself every single day, but I'm not interested on daily values. What I'm interested is on weekly average weight, monthly average weight, and it just creates awareness for myself, like which, even at the moment, my goal is not to lose weight, gain muscle I just I'm happily maintaining, and that is where my maturity, part of my life, feels that this is like I have freedom. But also, at the same time, I see that when there is termed, I don't like, like, my average weight is going up a couple 100 grams per week or even more in some points, then it creates awareness that, oh, now trend is not where I want it to be, and then it's time to change my actions and what I'm actually doing so because More often than not, that weight is not going to it's not something all of sudden in one week you gain that two weeks will might be one day difference, but average weight is not. You are not, on average, gaining two kilos every single day, because it goes up and down, as you know so but it's it's just a great way to see trends where you are going and and especially recognize that when there is something like I recently, I was out of my own routines when I was at the Olympics. And of course, there was, I was looking like my long term data. When I came back, of course, I gained a little bit weight, and I started thinking, Okay, what was the difference? Like, food was actually very healthy. It was, there was just a lot of it and buffet eating every day, so many delicious, delicious choices. So I was eating, for sure, more than I would eat at home. I was eating maybe more, or for sure, more calories than I would eat at home, and at the same time, my average steps, I wasn't as active as I'm at home, because the reason was that I'm not usually done at home, I'm walking. I have averaged 14, 15,000 steps per day, and during that time, I had maybe 8000 so almost half, because we were all transportation. Stay where you were sitting in a bus as a trainer, you are watching the games you are sitting there was that daily movement was missing, and at the same time, you eat little bit more. Even I did, I could get my own workout some in, but the daily movement was missing. Sleep wasn't the best possible as not sleeping at home, going to sleep different times, not always at the same time as home. So there were many, many small things that wasn't as they usually are, and and that caused that, of course, you came late, and now when you when I'm back and think that, okay, now it's time to get back to routine. I'm not doing anything dramatic, but just just getting back to my routine and maybe being a little bit stricter, learning to say no for every desert like not every time saying yes. So think that, okay, some point I have to take like that. Usually I love to eat every single day something sweet. And now it's maybe every other day. So with these small actions, I know that this, this what I gained during the last month. It will be all all all gone within couple months, and I don't need to, I don't need to starve myself or or do anything special, just getting back to my routine. And this is another story was, was one, one client ina couple years back, I still remember it vividly when, when she was she was so afraid to track because it felt obsessive. But then when she was using the tracking as awareness, that changed everything, because she said that tracking makes me feel that I'm uncontrolled and but when, when we started tracking without judgment, just observing, she realized something very important. She wasn't over eating because she lacked discipline, she was under eating protein earlier in the day, and that small awareness changed everything, because it often, I guess, especially if you are hungry later in the day, usually in the afternoon or evening. You feel like that. You could review, for example, many clients who tell me that they come home from work and and they haven't been eating a lot, and then they are like that. They could eat everything you have in the in in a fridge. So it's by far the most common reason is that you are under eating protein or fiber, and then when you are just tracking it, just observing, not to be obsessed with all calories, but just looking, for example, just tracking your protein intake. How much protein Have you been eating? And that is, that is what you what makes you very like. You know, this was the reason like now, when I focus on like that, you started to feel it right away. That difference between today is that she was close to her protein call, or today's that you had like that. Oh, if I look back and think I didn't, apparently ate some protein. So those are just that as small, small things. What really makes you aware of things? What is actually why everything goes there is often, there is a reason why these things are happening, and it's not, it's not about it's not about your discipline or willpower. It's often just simple things you are not aware and and why didn't that hunger is feeling so confusing, because another reason that people don't trust themselves is because hunger feels unpredictable, unpredictable. So especially, this is especially for women over 35 because hormones are changing, stress is often increasing, sleep is decreasing, and hunger becomes slower. So many people think that, Oh, my body is broken, but more often than not, it's not broken, it's your body is just stressed. It's under recovered, it's underfed, or it's in dieted for too long, and when the body doesn't feel safe, it pushes for more food. And that's not the weakness, it's just the biology. So what is then, if you think that control versus structure? Because here is a distinction I want you to think about so controls, control is telling you that I must be perfect, and structure is saying I will follow a plan that supports me. And control is rigid. Structure is stable. Control breaks under stress, and structure paints English so many, many people don't think don't need more control. They need, actually, more structure. For example, it's a structure for your meals. For example, three real meals per day. For most people, that is breakfast, lunch and dinner. And for many people, it means that in all meals, you have some source of protein. You have planned snacks that you know already what you are doing, and not just opening your fridge and looking what you have or or in if you open anything, what you have at home, and you feel like that, don't like now I can eat my Fritz empty. So it and it also structure means that it's realistic portions. So it's very simple, it's very repeatable, and it's stable. So and that is when you have that structure, that is what builds trust. So how you can then rebuild that Food Trust? Because the tree building trust, it takes some time. It doesn't happen in one week. And here are some steps I love to use when we work together with my clients. So step number one is that you have to stop extreme restrictions. So that is the key part, so that it doesn't in the long term. It those extreme restrictions. They work in in short term, if you think that you need to, it beats maybe willpower for a short while. It but it doesn't bring you in the long term any results. It's in a short term, very, very good strategy. But in the long term, it does actually, I believe it does more harm than actually good. As I said, it might show yourself. You feel you might feel proud of yourself that you have you are able to do. You have that discipline. You have the real power to follow extreme restriction rules for short moment, but it's if those rules what you make to yourself, if you don't feel that you can follow these rules years from now, it's not if you can maintain it. It's matter of time before you break those rules. And you know, after breaking those rules, how you kind of about yourself. Then next step, what I love to use my clients, is adding structure before removing foods. So structure means those what I talked earlier, three meals, protein in each meal, planning your snacks, having realistic portion portions, for example. Then number three is tracking for awareness, not for punishment. And if you can't track all foods you are eating. You could be starting only with your protein. And this is what I personally love to do, not that it's the only or the best way to do it, but it just helps me and for many of my clients. So you know that you have your protein goal, how much protein you should be eating, and that is, if you don't know it's 1.6 I personally prefer what studies are telling it's 1.6 to two grams, 2.2 grams per kilo body weight, or your cold body weight. So I like to then depending on your goals. But even that lower like one and a half 1.6 grams per your current body weight. So for example, I wait around 90 kilos. I aim for 150 grams every single day protein, and I make sure that I try to hit that goal every single day. And it's, it's just for awareness. It's not punishment, or I'm not geo exist if, course, of course, they really be hasted. I don't hit my protein call, but it's just to be aware what is actually happening. And then next step is to strength train consistently. And this is the game change practice it has been for me. I didn't do it. I thought that it's not important, or I don't need to do it. But now, when I have been because my mindset was kind of bit all or nothing in this, but now it's all about getting started two times per week. And what I love, for example, what have been really motivating me for this is in my workout app, you can set your strength training goals. And of course, there is a step goals, there is a cardio goals per week, weekly strength training goals. And for me, I personally, is two times per week and 10 sets of exercises. So it means that if I do five exercises, two sets each, or you can do three exercises, three sets one exercise, that's the one set. So you get your 10 sets, working sets per workout, and that two times per week. And hitting that is, you know, I need 1520, minutes to do that bare minimum. And of course, then often, when I get started, I might be doing something more, but it's just so motivating that when my workout app there is coming signs that you have hit your weekly strength call, and that consistency matters lot more than actually trying to do it perfectly for a couple of weeks, then getting off track for Next weeks or next months. And that is, consistency matters lot more than actually doing, following a perfect plan for a short time. So consistently, strength training consistently, it's it's so crucial, especially someone over 35 and that last step, what I would like to add in this, this list is to sleep than you think you need. So it's it's sleep is so crucial because it basically everything starts your recovery. You can train more. It you are eating less. There are so many studies showing this that actually, if you are under sleeping, you will eat more than you need, because you it increases your cravings. And still, these are, these are the steps, but the most important is that to keep promises to yourself. So whatever you promise. So if you think that, oh, this is here where those are all good things, but at the moment, I'm not doing any anything of them, don't start with everything and pick one, two, not more than three things at the time. Practice those. Make your promises so small that you can keep them, because that that starts building that self trust, that you are actually able to do key promises, what you make to yourself, and if you can't keep promises, what you make to yourself, then it's time to make your promises smaller, because you don't the worst thing, what you can say yourself that I'll be perfect forever. And of course, that is that is not going to happen. And instead, if you can say that, I will follow this plan today, and when you keep those small promises, your trust is growing. So why is why? Then this matters all for fat loss, and because the fat loss without self trust doesn't last, because once stress hits, old patterns return, and that is often matter of time. And if you don't trust yourself around food, you will always feel one step away from losing control. But when trust builds, even if you overeat one day, you don't panic, you don't spiral, you adjust calmly, and that's maturity, that's stability, and that's long term success. So what I what I have seen over and over in with my clients, they don't need my clients don't need more knowledge. Most of them, what they actually need is stability, repetition, safety and realistic expectations. The goal is not to come for food. The goal is to feel calm about it, around it and it's it's for me. I, I have to tell a quick story about my, my why, when I, I was, I have been doing this now for over 10 years, and when I started, of course, I in the beginning, I thought that this is very simple. You know, you first time as a coach, you started learning little bit about galleries, tracking, doing experiments for yourself and and it was, it was, I was like, at this time when now we are picking of March, and it's usually here in Italy, it's like a kind of carnival time. Was just couple weeks ago. And after that you start, like some fasting time. And I was also, I was very keen, like many of my clients did, like that. Okay, now it's fasting time. It's it means no sugar, no alcohol, no life, nothing. And I was like, Oh, this is a great idea. I definitely too much sugar, and I thought that it's a very good idea to go without sugar. And I did it 30 day challenge without sugar. And of course, I I felt I was able to do it. I was I felt so proud of myself. And of course, I got even some bristles. I lost scale weight. I was like, Wow, this feels amazing. This is a great thing to do. And then 30 days were over, and what happened? I was like, now I finally gonna eat some sugar and having some Gigan. First it taste it was, on the other hand, it was a great experiment, because I realized that okay, I didn't in the beginning, it was very hard to be without sugar. I had a cravings, but longer I was then later, like even eating an apple, it felt almost too sweet, because you are not used to anymore, for for sugar and and when I when I did it, when I finished the challenge, I was like, Okay, now I can eat some sweets. And first time I was eating some sugar, it felt like that, oh, now this is almost too sweet. And, but then, of course, that now I finally can eat some sugar, and then, of course, I was eating way too much. And probably within next few months, I was eating more sugar than if I look with including that month when I was without sugar, plus next two months when I was finally allowed to eat sugar. I was probably eating at least same amount of sugar in those three months, then with three restriction for first month, then I would be eating without that restriction, because it felt like kind of that now, when I finally I don't have that rule anymore, I made it, I can eat it. And what happened is, then it was that overeating, or when maybe you have tried some extreme diet, and you have had those Extreme Rules, that there is no carbs, and then you are like, You are breaking those rules. And then you are like, that, fuck it, whatever I now I it, I ruined it anyway. So now it doesn't matter. And then you go that you are eating way too much because you think that I I fucked it anyway. So what's the point? And, or maybe you tell yourself that I get back on track on Monday or next day, so now I still eat it when I can, or I It doesn't matter anymore at this point. And those are kind of things that makes, does create more harm than good. So that was, that was just what matters in more is that your body is, it responds lot better to consistency than punishment. And this is, this is just just those Extreme Rules, why? This is my personal example, and the way how I felt like that. This is, it's actually creating, in long term, more harm than good. Even the results within those first 30 days were obviously amazing. I felt good to have got some results. But in the long term, if I look back, actually, the only thing, what I came from that experiment was that feeling that, you know, I'm able to do. I have power, discipline, willpower, to do those things. But in the long term, it didn't bring any results except that feeling that, well, I can do it. So if you I want to close this episode with just a couple words that if you don't trust yourself with your food right now, it means that you are not broken. You have probably just been dieting too hard for too long. So really it sounds it might go against everything you have believed until now, but start small add structure, remove extremes and keep simple promises. Trust comes back slowly, and when it does, everything becomes easier. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and if you want help rebuilding trust, instead of chasing another extreme plan you know where to find me. Thank you for listening, and talk to you.