Everyone and welcome back to the fit me Turo fitness podcast. I'm your host, Turo Virta, and today I want to talk something that's often overlooked when it comes to health and fitness, the emotional side of weight loss. And now I have done many, many episodes about nutrition, training, recovery and consistency, but the truth is, none of those things matter much if we don't talk about what happens inside, so how you feel when you step step on the scale and it doesn't move when you have have had a week off, or when You just don't feel like you are doing enough. So this episode was inspired by the incredible feedback from my recent episode, more than scale the 80% rule and progress dashboard that actually deliver results that was published two weeks ago. So if you didn't listen that, check that episode out, as I'm really grateful for all these messages I got in my Instagram email, and it says that I love to have this conversation. So if you have, if this episode resonates you, or some recent episode, you have any questions, any topics, just feel free to DM me in my instagram or shoot me an email. Turo at fit me. Turo.com and I'm more than happy to have a conversation. And most of the I know, most of the people don't contact, they don't write. They feel like that. Am I taking his time away? I don't want to bother Turo. But honest truth is that I love to have these conversations, because it's, it's what I love, what I preach in, and what I love doing. Having conversation, having conversations helping if I can, and so don't hesitate to contact because it's, it's what I love to do and and trust me, I will get reply from me every single time. So so was in after this episode, so many of you message, messaged me and saying, it finally clicked that progress isn't only what the number says. So today I want to go even deeper, because the biggest obstacle, obstacle for most people, isn't lack of knowledge, it's emotions. And because the real problem isn't that knowledge, it's it's that emotion. And of course, if, if you think it this way, that if knowledge would be the problem, we would be all in amazing shape. And that is honest truth, because now you have all these tools, you have chatgpt, you have Google, you have social media is full of advices. Knowledge is available. It's, it's there, it's within your fingertips. It's, it's that is not that is not an issue in 2025 2026 whenever you are listening this episode. But that goes honest truth is that most people I work with, they already know what they should be doing. They know that they should be eating more protein, they should be moving more, sleeping better, managing stress. But the question is that, why don't we do it consistently, and why we even we know that consistency is important, and why we cause even we have all this knowledge, but why we are not following truth? And the answer is almost always emotional. It's the guilt after a weekend. It's the frustration when you do everything right and and the scale still goes up, and it's the voice in your head saying, I should have been further by now, I should be able to see more progress now. Why am I seeing so little progress, even I'm trying so hard, and that's where the most people give up, not because they don't have a plan, but because they think they have failed. And I want to change that today. And if you listen this episode, I hope you get actionable steps, how to actually do it, where you can start right away. So which I like to I like to tell some stories. So let me tell you a quick story about one of my clients, Samia, so we have been working now it's already a couple years. Oh, my God, time is flying. But she's she has been lately like it's always, like we change focus every month, every week, even day by day. But she has been focusing on her steps lately and aiming around 7000 steps per day. So it makes around 49,000 steps per week. And but of course, these are these numbers are not like that. You know you have to hit them. If you, if you hit 48,800 you have failed. Or if you, you know this is not about all or nothing, but aiming for that range of steps and what I love, what she's actually doing, that she's celebrating her consistency, not perfection. Honestly, she didn't hit that goal perfectly she had for the first week, she was three days out of seven. She hit that 7000 steps, and then next week, it was four, and she's getting closer to that her goal. And what makes the difference is that when she's not feeling her best, she adds justice, she adds us. Because, of course, like everyone, she also have have had her lower energy days feeling a bit off or sick, and that that's the part of the progress. It doesn't mean that you ruin everything. See, like she didn't ruin anything. If you have a bad day, you feel little bit sick, you can't get your steps in, or whatever reason it happens. But she takes small wins and walking during the breaks, going, aiming for, go for two, flight of fight of floors, taking the stairs and and those are kind of the daily things. What do you and decisions, what you do every single day without noticing it. And you might think that, what does it make difference if I take the stairs, if I take an elevator, easy way out everybody is doing I might be out of out of breath at stairs, and you know, you are probably feeling a little bit ashamed that you are not able to do it. There is some, maybe there is some younger ones doing the same things. They are running and you are you have to have a break in between. But these are the things what actually makes a lot more out than doing some workouts. If you build that habit, you start to think that there is not even an option. It's for me personally, if I look, I try always. I There's very few questions that I use elevator. I take stairs always. And if you when I'm traveling, I go at the airport and look how big line is. Is going on, on somewhere where you don't need to walk, if you take a stairs, there is nobody. There is nobody. And this is just, it's just for me, when I look at these things, I'm thinking that these are just these, all small decisions, what you make every single day? Does it matter if you take it once? No, but if you do that habit, if you have built that habit, and take it every single time, it makes so much more out than you can't even believe it. And that is then when you do it day by day. And at some point, you know you do it all already, like in the beginning, for sure, you will forget. You will not remember to do it every single time. But more often you practice it. It's like a muscle. More often you practice it, better it becomes and when you don't forget doing those things, you start doing it, even you fail, even you forget, but you still get back into that habit, learning like a muscle that you know it's nobody have ever got the best shape of life by doing one workout. How it actually works in real life? It's it takes time, it takes consistency, and once you put those repetitions in, you will get stronger, like with the with the with your muscles. And it's the same thing with these habits. So and these are, this is what actually the real progress is looking like. It's not like Samia. She's not obsessing anymore over the number on the scale, because she's proud now that she's moving more, eating better, and listening to her body, because it's so easy to go back to that old cycle and thinking like that. You know, if you are someone like Samia, used to be that she's she was obsessed about her weight, stepping up on the scale, seeing when that machine was showing a number that she didn't like. That ruined her day, and now maybe she's doing it a bit less or even better way. What see, what we are trying to build, is that you know you it's kind of data that you are tracking. It's your weight is one data, your amount of steps is one data, your workouts, how much stronger you are getting. It's one data. You take pictures, you take body measurements, tape measurements, and those are all data, what you are looking not just the one point of measurement, but you have several ways of measuring your progress, and that is how you are actually starting to see that, if this thing is actually working, are you making progress? Because if you base that decision by number on the scale, you have some kind of emotions, because you have to think that this is these are just numbers, what you are tracking, and it shouldn't feel any different. If you are stepping up on the scale, you see some number, or if you are hitting your amount of steps, you are tracking your workouts. Those are all just the data points you are tracking. And then maybe end of the week, end of the month, you can look all the data, what you have collected, and see that is there some progress? What is what is actually happening? Am I actually doing those actions, what I know I should be doing. And then when you start to track that consistency and and you have different ways, not only scale, to measure your progress, you start to see that, that what is actually happening. And because of that different kind of measurements, some years progress start to be visible. Lighter She's stronger, and she's, most importantly, in a mentally a lot better place. It's not some magic thing, but it's what I love to call emotional balance. And she's not anymore punishing her herself to for imperfect days, and that's why she's actually succeeding. So it's, it's and there are, like, real life examples, what she said that what are actually, for me, they are always lot more important than than seeing, hitting lowest number on the scale for a while. Or, you know, she was just sharing like that. You know, she's actually able to walk stairs without taking a breath. She's able to when she's flying arms off like, able to lift her luggage by herself, like those kind of like real life examples, what you are able to do, what you maybe were not able to do at some point. And those are like lot more valuable. They mean so much more than actually seeing that number on the scale. What you think that it represents that your success, how fast that success would be. And it's just an example. And the other example there, there is an Ingrid we have been also working now two, three years, and we talked in person, and she shared something that really stuck with me. And I was like, wow, this is more. I thought about it. It was like that, Oh, my God, this is such a great example, she said that she had a bad period, or, like, what I like to call imperfect period, and she said that usually when these phases happened, that now at this time, she didn't gain as much as usual, and Now she's already back on track. So when she said this with calm confidence, not with guilt, not with shame, but acceptance, and that is amazing progress, because she also said that what I loved even more, she said that she she realized how many things she can do now what she couldn't do before like her stamina is better. Her balance is better. She's training more consistently. She's able to go for hikes. She said that earlier she wouldn't go for a hike because she would be ashamed to not make it or be the last one, and now, since that she is, now she's able to do it. Maybe she's not the last person anymore, or even if she's the last, but at least she's able to, she knows, with the confidence that she's able to do those hikes with her friends. And that is that is such a great progress. Of course, we know that we shouldn't compare ourselves with anyone else but ourselves, but and but I know it's easier said than done, but if you are able to do things what you enjoy, it adds something to your life quality, or not only something it it's amazing addition for your life quality, and even you are not like English is not in her ideal weight, but she's living a healthier, more confident life, and that's exactly what this journey is all about, because you just don't lose weight, but you are gaining energy, strength, self respect and trust in yourself again. So why didn't this all this emotional awareness, how it changes everything? So the problem isn't having these emotions. The problem is that how we react to them. So when the scale doesn't move, when we miss a workout, when we have an emotional eating day, we think there's something wrong with us. But emotions aren't bad. They are just signals. They are telling you something. So instead, if you instead of ignoring all these emotions or touching yourself, learn to listen. So here is a simple framework I love to teach. So it's first is that you are noticing what you are feeling, if it's frustration, if it's guilt, if it's disappointment, whatever, but notice that feeling, then name it and say it loud. I know most of the people don't do it. They are just having these thoughts in their mind, but they are not talking it loud. If you are saying it loud. For example, I feel frustrated because my weight went up. And this is some practice, what I personally practiced recently for, for my self development, course, what I'm taking and it's, it's when you it changes, like when you when you write these things down, you can write your story whatever happens. You just don't have to be some novel or best author prize winning story, but just put your thoughts down, like complete sentences, four or five sentences, and then you take breath every time when you and you are reading it loud, you say, you say that I feel frustrated because my wind but because my weight went up. They take deep breath. You say next sentence, I feel guilt because I didn't work out. And then you keep going whatever story we can go deeper next time about how to write these stories, what you should be actually doing, but just saying it loud, taking a deep belly breath every time after each sentence, and it changes everything for most of the people. Then when you are neutralizing it, what you are feeling, you are you are reminding yourself, this is just a data. This is not the trauma. This is not something to get emotional. It's just the data. And then you are taking a next step, you are going to ask yourself, what is one small thing I can do right now to feel better? Maybe it's walk, maybe it's water, maybe it's making a balanced breakfast for tomorrow. And that's emotional mastery. It's not being emotionless, but using emotions as information, not punishment. And these are, these are all kind of things like that, because most of us, we are, we are struggling to stay in present moment. And that is, that is like because we are either we have, we feel guilt and shame about past, or we have a worry about future, so and when you we are then balancing like that. You know you are feeling guilt from the past. You are feeling shamed what happened in the past, but you can change it. It is what it is. And for future, maybe you are worried that what will happen in the future and and the thing is that those things we don't know what the only thing what we can do right now, right today, at this moment when you are listening, is that what you are doing right now? So thinking that what is, what can I do right now? And it's not that you know you have to do one hour workout or something, it could be okay. I can do right now. I can drink a glass of water. You drink glass of water, you move forward with your day, or you go for five minute walk outside. You park Carter, car, your car further, take extra steps. Those are all things. What you can do right now to feel better. And it's not that, it's that past, like I said, you can change future is usually some of actions, what you are doing today that will you will have that feature in next month, next year, next 10 years. So future is some of your actions you are doing today. So don't think too far about future. What if? What if? Because I know most of us, we are going all these scenarios showing in your mind that what is happening in the future, how the future is looking like we can't know what we can do is affect what we are doing actually, today. So then there is something, what I tell to all my clients, every single one of them, and myself too. I need this reminder myself also that you don't need to be perfect. You need to be consistent. And I know you have heard this million times, but if you can hit 80% of your habits like I talked in the episode before, consistently, you will make progress. You will make that's five to six good days out of seven that's eating enough protein most days, that's moving daily, even if it's some days it's just steps that's sleeping well more often than not, because your body doesn't need perfection. Unless you are some fitness competitor who have a big photo shooting or competition on next week, you don't need perfection. What you need is repetition and consistency. And the results don't come from one perfect week, they come from good enough weeks in a row. And that having a good enough week doesn't mean that you are perfect every single day. It means that five, six good days out of seven, and if some weeks, it's going to be one, two good days, maybe even zero, but faster you are getting back into it. Chances are a lot higher that you are seeing more progress. Think it in a in a long term, longer period of time, because most of us, we focus on these daily things, weekly things. What is happening and then we are using is it as an excuse to why to give up. Something happens. Game went up, and when you think it in a short term, you will never have a chance. You don't give yourself a chance to succeed in a long term. So then I also want to touch on little bit on something that's really common, and that the belief that you are doing everything right and still not seeing results, and I get it that's frustrating, but often, when we look closely, that's not it's not 100% consistency. It's more like 60% consistent, consistency, which is still great, but it's not enough time for your body to show results. So you can't expect 100% results with 60% consistency, but you can make incredible progress with 80% and this is all about patience, especially when you are doing the right things. So think it this is one of the most common issues you it's that kind of that weekend trap. And if that is every single weekend, and usually, like I said episode earlier, we can start from Friday, maybe afternoon, then it continues on Saturday, Sunday. So you will have, maybe you are perfectly on spot on. It feels hard. You are trying so hard you are on spot on from Friday to Thursday, except that one Wednesday dinner. And out of that, you have four good days or perfect days, three are so la, la, but that is 60% consistency. It's it's not 80% so you can't expect 100% now you compare yourself with someone who is having maybe 100% consistency, and you are having that 60% maybe even 50, and you are expecting to see the same results. So this is, this is not, and it's not to change that. It's often like, it's okay to aim for 60% consistency, you would need five, maybe five and half, six days, so you still have time to enjoy life. But it doesn't mean that from Friday to Sunday every single week, and it's both days. You know, you are you are not. You are completely off track, like many of my clients, used to say that they it was a bad weekend or something. But if you if it's instead of having a bad weekend, you have a bad day, or imperfect day, like how I like to call it, and this is those are small things that makes when you repeat that week after week. It's matter of time before you start to see results. And then, before we close this episode, there is a one very, very important mindset shift. So stop comparing yourself to your past self, the younger version, who may who may be trained differently, had a faster metabolism, or didn't have kids or work stress, you are not that person anymore, so, and that's a good thing, so you have more wisdom now. You have more awareness, and you are doing it sustainable way this. Maybe in your 20s. Everything worked, you know, you you were letting it go for 11 months. Then you said that, okay, now it's time I start my diet or detox or whatever. That's one month of the year, and the rest, you got back to your ideal weight or whatever, and it worked. And then 11 months it slowly, you think that it's always good intention, like most of the people who I work with, it's good, good intention that, you know, I start to build new life. I will keep these habits. But if the thing what you are doing, if you can't imagine doing it five years, 10 years from now, it's not going to last forever. And maybe that those things worked in your 20s, when you were younger, but now, the same things most likely don't work anymore. So don't compare. Think that you have to do the same things what worked in the past. You are not that person anymore, and it's only a good thing. You have more wisdom, more awareness, and you are doing it sustainable way this time. So here I here is what I want you to take from this episode. Weight Loss isn't just about food and exercise. It's about how you handle your emotions when things don't go as planned. It's about noticing those small wins like Samir steps or Ingrid, Ingrid's ability to bounce back faster after imperfect period of time. And it's all about trusting that showing up imperfectly still counts. So this week, I want you to celebrate one small emotional win. Maybe you didn't pinch when you felt stressed, maybe you chose to walk instead of giving up. Maybe you simply forgave yourself porn of day. So those are kind of wins that no scale can measure, and this is what you need to do today. Celebrate yourself, even you might. It's for most of the people, it's very hard to celebrate because you think that this is something, what I really should be doing, I if I'm able to not pinch where I most likely would pinch in the past. But this time you were stressed, you chose to go, walk, call a friend, wait before you are eating. That is a win. And maybe when you were thinking that you know you had a planned workout, but you didn't do it, but you still went for a walk, that's a huge win. And maybe, maybe when you decided that you take a day off, maybe you forgave it for yourself. So those are all things what actually matters. And if this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who has been too hard on themselves lately. If you know someone, I bet you might know. And sometimes we all need just that reminder we are not broken, and we are still moving forward. And if you want more tools like this, personalized to your goals, you can always find my free piece workout tools, free fat loss program and, of course, coaching options at personaltena turo.com thank you for listening and remember you don't need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up totally soon and have a amazing day thank you so much for.