Hey, and welcome to this you fit me. Turo fitness podcast, today's episode, I'm going to talk about frustration with the scale perimenopause. How to get away from this kind of frustration if you are in situation that seems like that nothing is working. Where it is going up, you are not seeing physical results, despite working so hard. And as this is a topic, I just literally 15 minutes ago, finished a call with one of my clients, Sarah. I actually recorded podcast episode with Sarah. So if you want to listen her story, you can listen it from my podcast. I can put a link to show notes, if, after this conversation, you want to actually little bit learn more about her. So why this is something so it all started, Sarah message me today morning that she jumped on the scale, and suddenly, despite she has been working out for last month, consistently, have been mostly trying to eat healthier. And despite all that effort, she have gained weight. She doesn't. She feels bloated. She doesn't she's not happy versus and she all said that she almost wanted to quit today. She said that when she saw the number on the scale, that she was because she had planned that she's going to gym, but she was just like that. Now today, point of doing this, because I'm so frustrated. What she did actually very well. What I already told her that, what I'm amazingly proud of her, is that she actually went, despite everything, to the gym, did her workout, and now, after this call, I think what we talked earlier, she was feeling so much relieved. Everything made sense what we talked and I hope in this episode, I can provide those strategies, the same strategies what we talked about, and what makes the things to change that shifting that focus little bit so in her situation like that was a situation was that if you are busy like Sarah is very busy, very stressed at the moment, and her sleep hasn't been good, there is kind of very menopause symptoms already like that. Not well. Weight is going up despite doing same things before and feels like the same things. What she have done in the past haven't been really working and and now it's so frustrating that situation is like that. There's nothing like that. You You know when you have to buy new clothes, when old ones are not fitting and you don't know you need you think that you have to find a way to lose very fast because you are not feeling happy with yourself. And this was the situation where we started to actually talk us. And this is the topic, what actually matters, because there are so many people I know I have worked with several of them, I have been lucky enough to help and work with people who are in this situation, especially women who are struggling with similar challenges. And the goal with this episode is simply, simply to provide insights and practical solution. So the that is that the first of all is that emotional struggle, what is there behind and how that impact of perimenopause? So what, what means perimenopause, that it's not like, really like menopause it, but you are kind of hitting like, usually, it depends on person, but women it usually it can start age of 35 even for someone or someone, it could be late 40s, beginning of 50s, depending on age. So there's, it's, there is not one solution. So and if you are interested, you learn about more about menopause. I had a two amazing episode, other one with Amanda tip, other one with the Kim slack, where we talk like especially with these problems. So those might be helpful episodes. You can find them from my podcast, or simply, you can always email me, ask more resources, send me. I'm always happy to send those links to you. And if you want to learn more, you want to know how listen more this kind of conversation. So those are very, very helpful. And I learned myself so much of those conversations as obviously, I'm a man and I'm not. I haven't been living I haven't been literally going through menopause, but luckily, I have been able to help many women going through that same phase. So I believe that some little knowledge I have, and usually, at least, I have worked and and went through with so many women and found ways how to manage it. So first of all, how, how that impact of that perimenopause, how it's affecting to your body, so there is going to be hormonal changes, as you probably already know, in your body. And how is that like in Sarah situation? And what is a very common like that you are them to store fat in menopause belly. That is a real thing and and it just simply means that do those hormonal shifts, you are storing more fat in your belly area. But it's it says that what it's changing, it's changing simply that you are just gaining that fat more on belly fat, but on the other side, the methods, how you are actually losing fat is still going to be the same. So it's calorie deficit and and doing like things we probably already heard, eating high protein, doing some form of resistance training, and that is the way, the only way how you are losing fat. You are just we are at this point. You just can't impact where your body decides to store fat like for maybe earlier you have stored that fat, if you were eating more calories than you're consuming, maybe even everything in your belly, but the way and how you are going to lose it, there is no magical way how to lose that belly fat, or how to lose that leg leg fat or arm fat, whatever is that you going to do like because if you think that you should be doing more app exercises that to lose, to get to feel that burn in your up muscles, it's not going to make you lose Suddenly from your belly fat, because you can, you can, you can read exercise selection. You can get stronger for your if you, let's say I use a simple example, like a bite set B chips. If you are training your only your right beat up and are not the right one, you are getting stronger on your right side and stay probably the same or even lose progress on your left side, but you are not going to suddenly, if you just exercise only your left side or right side, you are not going to lose fat only from right side. It's you can impact in your training regime, what you are doing with your exercises, which part you are focusing more and getting stronger on that area, but that that burn on that area, it just doesn't exist, and other other impacts like that. What is that emotional circle? Is that how that obviously, how it's impacting to your motivation, your confidence, so especially, like Virta, like she said, that motivation was there, but then, like, when these moments kind of sit backs happen, it's understandable that you don't feel you feel like that. What is the point of doing and working so hard if you are not seeing results? And because you think the only way how to actually reach those results is to get that scale going down and seeing something different. And it's also in this, this so compassionate about yourself and reframing that what is, what success is mean, because it is. It's not impossible, but it's a lot harder to lose get that scale going down in this period of time, and that could but there are so many ways what I'm talking a little bit later, how you can reframe your success and how you can shift your focus away from that weight loss. Because, like I said to Sarah, that I know that, see, it's the only thing she actually, at the moment, wants, is to get that scale going down, but it's probably the last thing what she actually should focus at this point. And she was like, little bit that, no, but that is not what I what I want to hear like you said that you want to provide me some strategies how to get scale going down, and it's that that's exactly what I'm going to do. But for a moment, even it's the end goal, to lose weight, to fit into a clothes better, you have to shift away from that mindset and be passionate like be really kind with yourself with these thoughts, because your body is changing, but it doesn't mean that you are failing. So we shifted serious focus from from weight loss to progress in her strength and performance, and that was like, now, just an other point, like, because I have been, I know, if you know, I have been working for the past one and a half years with the women's ice hockey national team. And obviously it's totally different. If you are listening this, you are probably not some athlete, but you are just some normal person who is trying to improve your health, improve your fitness, well being. But there are similarities, like, if you think like an athlete, like you, gotta think that you are working out like an athlete, because what is the difference and how is the mindset going like athlete? They don't probably look, or hopefully they don't look their scale rate every single morning, and getting like the deciding based on that number if they are going to do their workout or not, but they are. They have their schedule. They are working towards a goal. Like my athletes, they are preparing for Olympics in 2026 so there is only less than a year time when I'm recording this episode. So if you think that there's a Olympic games coming in one year, and you are practicing, obviously you're, I'm not comparing your situation with athletes. Athletes are maybe working out every single day, even some days, even two, three times a day. So it's totally different. But they have a specific goal in their mind. And if they are not thinking, like, Okay, today I didn't lose COVID, so I'm going to skip my workout, or I'm going to quit because I didn't see the progress the goal is in one year. Or you can have set some sort of goals, but if you think like an athlete, so you have kind of performance based goals, so obviously, like for a hockey player, goal is to improve their isob game. It would be becoming faster. It would be become more explosive, improving their technique or whatever, improve areas of improvement they have. But the biggest takeaway is that if you when you shift that your focus on those performance based goals. It could be like with the setup we said simply workout call so her, it could be just your favorite exercise, so it doesn't matter, or said I it was dead lift. So she loves dead lift, and that is her kind of favorite exercise. It could be a a setting, getting your first push up, getting your first pull up, doing some amount of repetitions with the bench press or squat or whatever you kind of enjoy doing what excites you, and then starting to actually track it. So for setup, is it a goal like at the moment, is able to do with the 50 kilo five repetitions dead lift and visit the goal to get that five repetitions with 60 kilos. So that is realistic. It's possible, and it's public durable, I would say that maybe in two, three months. So it's not but there is, we didn't set the timeline that when it have to be done. But you know that you have the call you are working towards and and that is that is that kind of like how we are going to do? Because we were, we were having a conversation, how, how she's at the moment, doing for most, especially women, most women, I know, they are not really tracking their workouts, or they are not pushing themselves hard enough. So what means pushing yourself hard enough? So if you like, I said that how I'm doing my own workouts like I don't think it like Sarah said that she used an example how she was doing her dead lifts like she was. She had a she have been always using kind of like a 50 kilos or 40 kilos, and doing five repetitions, she probably says that she could probably do 234, more, more reps. But in the program was five, it felt relatively easy. So then you see that it's done. I did it, but the way, how I think it, or how it should be like I thought that my example exactly for today. When I did my dead lifts, I did eight repetitions with, if somebody is interested, 130 kilos. Then, then I said, Okay, now next set I had a seven repetitions. I'm going to add six kilos. So I did with 142 then next set, I had a six repetitions. It still felt relatively easy. I had to do one repetition less. I added another six kilos. So in the end, I did with 148 and it still felt like I felt at this point I could do probably even more. But do my heart condition, I have to be really careful with my breathing, and at this point, I don't want to push myself hard enough earlier. I would probably, if I would think that in normal situation, without this my heart condition in large part, I would probably go for that. I would start aiming for eight repetitions with that weight, what I was doing in my last set, so I would have already 12 kilos more what I had today in my first workout. So basically, adjusting the weight, like that. It's not that I have to do atripecial If I, if I'm able to do more, I can do one or two more repetitions, add more weight for the next set, so that the repetition is kind of that I have to make some kind of ugly face, or it feels like that, I I literally can't do More than two more repetitions with same amount of weight. And if the answer is that I could do more than two, then I'm going to add more weight for the next set. And if, still, if it's if it's too much that I'm not I should be doing eight I'm able to do only six repetitions, then I reduce weight for the next set, but basically just adjusting to wait every single set and aiming to go for kind of close to failure. And that is, that is how you are, and you have to, like, I have been tracking now. I have been re I restarted weight lifting like that's now almost three years ago, and I'm it's just I have tracked my every single workout, how much weight I have been using, how many repetitions I have done. And it's just so motivating to see when you look back, I can track my workouts like one year ago, two years ago, how much more I'm able to do now. And that is like that. When you are tracking your workouts, it gives that you, it gives that idea how much progress you have made, you have been making. And as the goal is like for Sarah, is to set that workout goal with the dead lift five times 60 kilos. So you are working towards some strength based goal. And this is, this is how you are actually shifting away. You have still a goal you are focusing on, but it's kind of performance based goal. And obviously this could be goal, could be you could sign up for a race, or you could go for some kind of competition, if that is what inspires you, what makes you think that you are kind of digging like an athlete and working towards some performance based goal. And this is the way how to shift your focus away from that, losing weight, fitting into your clothes, because that is always, that is kind of outcome based goal. What is as a result? When you do all these things, you get stronger, you put focus on your nutrition. But that is, that is end result. And if you, if you focus on this actions, this actionable goals, like, what is absolutely 100% under your control, because you can't control your hormone, you can't control how your actually what is, what is happening in your body, where you are storing fat. And if you focus on reducing those things, it's guaranteed that you will feel frustrated so and that that again, it increases only your stress. It affects to your progress. As you know, stress, it might be affect to your hormones. It will affect your calories in, calories out, ratio and and it impacts your recovery. And that is, those are, there's so many factors how that it's that if you are repeating that cycle with kind of adding more, doing more, harder, trying harder, relying Yogi power, then when not seeing results, you are quitting. You are that it's that endless cycle, what you are going through, and it's not, there's not going to be solution, or it's very, very hard to get out of that frustration, but shifting the pose and those kind of performance based goals, it's it, usually it does miracles. And that is when the shift, when you start to see also changes in your body. You start to feel stronger, you start to feel more energized, you start start to feel better. And that is all leading to those, all visible results, what you are actually looking for. But they are not the main goal. They are of and that is the biggest mindset, mindset shift you can make. So those goes like in zeta situation, like I said, she has a very high stress, and that makes that look simply harder. So it's like I said, it impacts recovery and what that you have to learn a ways to deal with your stress. So I was asking say the house is managing her stress like she had. She is attending some cooking classes or doing a kind of activity she enjoys, but she didn't have in a place like a routine to reduce your stress, because mostly it's that's it. She didn't have time. She have tried some meditation, but feels like that. You know that takes too long. It maybe it wasn't for her. She have tried some breathing exercises and but they really were kind of, he had been very consistent with that. So there was not really, like a plan in the place. And we were talking about and we decided that, in her case, we were just simply focusing on breathing exercises. So what is why the breathing exercise, for example, we use it a lot with the athletes, like because it's it settles down your nerves. So why that? Because I'm, at least, I'm I'm a person that I I love learning everything new, and I love to know, but I need to know why, why I should be doing because I I'm a person. I tried myself doing some kind of meditation, but I I didn't. I wasn't enough patient with that, so I was obviously my mistake was I was trying to do some 15 minute meditation, and it was like after five minutes, no way. And of course, I know it that I should start to do it like with everything else, you are improving, but I didn't have patients. And then when you do breathing exercises, that is, for me, kind of like a simpler way to start doing it. So why it's first of all, why it's important, what it matters, or what is, what it does to your body and to your stress. If you do breathing exercises, for breathing exercises, they are putting your nervous system down. For example, with athletes, we are using it a lot like you can imagine situations that you have a hard workout and then you have very limited time to recover. And for example, we have a games like we play today, next day, next game is already, maybe already in 20 hours or 16 hours from now, and when you need to recover faster, but you don't have really, like a tools. So why? The breathing exercise is still helping so it settles down your nervous system. So you are, because you are, if you are doing, for example, you do hard workout, and then you keep doing your day. You do what you what you are doing, but your body, you understand that, okay, workout is done or gets done, but your body is still going. Body doesn't understand. Your mind, you are like that. Luckily, it's done, but your body doesn't get that your nervous system doesn't get that information. But through those breathing exercises your body, you send a signal to your nervous system that now it's done, now you can start recovering. And that's that's how you are actually speeding up that recovery. You reduce your stress. And so how it's simply a stray how to do it is just finding and you need only maybe two minutes. One, two minutes. It's a good breathing exercise. If you want to do it longer, you can do it for five minutes, but you don't need to do it for 15 or 20 minutes, which can be for many people, hard to find, but basically, for two minutes, putting yourself in a quiet place, you can listen or is you can listen some music and just focus on your breathing, and that is the challenge, at least for me. Challenge is always that you I start to think something else than just actually putting but once you get those thoughts of something else. It could be family, it could be or stress or work or whatever situation. Just try to forget everything and really focus on your breathing and how you are breathing. Take a deep breath in through your nose, like three four seconds like, and then push out through your mouth for six to eight seconds. So, so really long threads and really focusing that you are breathing. So that is just simply this way how to settle, how to drive down your nervous system, and that is when you are actually starting to recover. This is other thing. Other thing, what we agreed with setup was to at 15 minute walk post meal. So there is, there is several studies how it's helping with the glucose effects. And if it's a doable it's probably not going to happen after every meal, but if you get even two, 315, minute walks after meal, that you make such a big difference for your stress relief, and especially if you have a chance to go for a walk outside so you get fresh air, you get maybe even some sunlight and that, again, it helps you to sleep better, as that was other issue. It said that she has been sleeping very badly, but lately with the not long and with low quality, so things like that. Those are kind of several small things that are helping in overall, because, in my opinion, like the problem, obviously, there is always some areas of improvement, but it all starts like, why you have more gradings? It's often it's related to your sleep, to your stress levels. And once you start to manage those things, those other parts, they are going like into a puzzle. They are starting to get in a place almost automatically, just because you fix first those bigger issues, bigger struggles, and which often are underestimated under thought or you haven't even you know that there might be some issues underlying but you really didn't pay attention or didn't build strategies to actually improve those areas. So because you just think that, okay, stress, I have a stress, I have a lot to do, but you don't have any strategies how to actually improve it. So that was kind of how to start actually shifting focus and not I like to. We didn't talk about cutting foods, cutting carbs, cutting something. It's more like adding sustainable things, what is actually possible to do basically every single day. So then with the say that there were couple things, like other things, like protein, like she has been very good prioritizing protein, but she also realizes like that it was the same issue than myself. I had a recognized that protein parts, they are, I'm not digesting them well, and Sarah, which felt the same, but it they are just so convenient to take them with you. And it's rather you don't take protein parts. You don't, even if you don't have possibility to eat protein, or you don't want to go around with the cheap boiled eggs or or grilled chicken breast. So it's, I know it's very challenging, but finding a way is like my favorite product. The situation that I can't have my books with me, with the x or some other sources of protein when I'm on go, so I have basically just the protein shaker with protein powder in and then I just pour water into it to its egg, and that is what I digest lot better, and I don't have any issues with it. So it's easy way to take it with me, so I don't need to carry run around with the already protein powder. But it's it's just powder, and if I don't need it, I don't use it. I can use next day. It's not, you know if you are in summer, in hot temperature outside, so you don't have to worry that it's you get poisoned or something from food. What is not good anymore when you are actually eating it. So so snacking options, what you have if you have realized that there is, there are some foods that are not. So that kind of gut health is also it's very, very important, and it's but it's very individual. So there's not person that not saying that protein parts are bad, but it's for many people like myself, they I just think not to digest them very well. So and if you instead, if you have piece of fruit, two pieces of fruit which have a lot of fiber, which is other very, very important thing, like changing this focus also, instead of restricting adding things and making sure that those are kind of good things, what you are adding and they are again leading that you are having Probably less sweet cravings and focusing on kind of adding things instead of taking focusing on taking things away. Because once you are improving your sleep, reducing your protein, most likely automatically, without even realizing it, you are reducing your your sweet cravings are going down as missing protein, missing fiber, lack of sleep. Those are three, by far, most three, most common reasons why you can stop snacking, or why you are snacking things, what you probably think that you just need to have more willpower. So it's all about balance, not restriction and focusing about sustainability and not just quick fixes or relying on your willpower. So that is that was a quick topic for today. And I hope this was helpful. I hope you got some practical ideas. I really would appreciate five star rating in iTunes or Spotify, as those are very, very helpful. If you know someone who is struggling with this, or who keeps talking all the time how they feel, they don't feel well, or they are frustrated with their progress this. Share this episode with them as if it's only one version, it's I don't expect anything more. One more, one person who you could share this episode, and I would be more than thankful. So thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for those reviews. And if you have any topics you want me to talk about, feel free to dim in my Instagram, send me email to our at fit me tour.com And thank you for listening.