Hey, and welcome to this fit Metro fitness podcast. In today's episode, I'm talking about how to set realistic expectations, and this is a topic I recently talked with one of my clients and and I thought that this might be helpful for you, if you are not quite sure if you are making progress, what is realistic, and if it's a good or bad progress, if you should be changing something. And because so many of us, we think that we are doing everything. We are working out consistently or but still seeing something like I have to say that from my experience, I know, unfortunately, very few people who are coming to me and saying that, Turo, hey, I'm seeing a lot faster progress than I thought would be possible. So it's totally normal to feel like the progress is not as fast as it should be, or depends how you are looking at it. And in this episode, I'm giving you strategies, what I have been using for my one on one clients, and what public would help you. So first, how was we were talking with the pet and and we, she originally started working with me in last December, so it's now 10 months ago, and she started her fitness and wellness journey. It's around one year now, and since then, she brought me that what actually, because I asked her what she feels that she have done well, and is one, almost one year of strength training, consistent, she's feeling stronger, more confident. There is a food chatter in her head is much more quiet, and there is almost no pinches, almost no emotional eating. Her cholesterol is reduced. She has a better work and life balance with the schedule and and as she's seeing progress and changes with her body. But then on the other side, she is struggling, that she's seeing that number on the scale is still the same or even higher when she started, and she's not as lean as she thought it should be, or she should be, and still, she's still uncertain how to measure success. And even she knows that scale, isn't it, but then she still have some days that clothes are not fitting differently, so much differently, or what she's she's consistently behind with her workouts, but still getting them mostly done and and those are, those were kind of means, and when we were organ struggles, and when we talked about it, how is her life situation? As she had a I've had a moments in her work life, in a private life, very stressful situations and and that is like something, what we all go through, usually at some point of life. If you look past here, I don't know many people who can say that they didn't face any any period of time when they didn't have a huge stress or something happened, unexpected, unexpected. What caused them to maybe go a bit let little bit loose with their own health and fitness journey. And this is normal. This happens to everyone that there will be times you are not able to the other hand, if you really think it like that, this is, this is on the other side. It's the most common reason by why people aren't seeing those results what they think so, so that's busyness, and how you are responding is the biggest factor, of course, if it's affecting too often, too consistently, for your workout consistency, for your Nutrition consistency, you can't expect to see a results with b, e forward, and that is totally fine, because if you really think it like where is not, because this is those unrealistic expectations, where they are coming from, if you really think it like that, most of them, They are coming from social media favorite figure is Carrie Underwood. She said that she's that is the kind of person she's looking up. She would love to have that kind of body and everything and that, and that is like you might have your favorite influencer or celebrity who you would like to look to see when we really talk to talk about it. I said that to be honest, completely honest with you, like if you look, if that is kind of, if you have your favorite influencer, I tell you secret how everything in social media. What is how those social media feeds how they are working, so they know you better than you know yourself. So that is a unpopular truth, and often, if you are insecure about yourself, you have some body type you are looking up, it's likely that more you are going to see that kind of content, because whatever you are using so that is because the only way how those platforms are making money is that longer they keep you in the platform, more money they will be making. And if they show you content which gives you in the app for longer, that more money they will make, and that they don't care if it's doing good or bad or harming you. It's the only interest what they have. And what is that algorithm is having is to keep you longer there and how? Unfortunately, nowadays, if you think like some celebrities, I don't know if you know someone who is posting pictures in their morning, like with the bad lightning, when they feel bloated and when they don't look pissed themselves, maybe for women without a makeup or anything, and then you are looking yourself in the morning into a Mirror, when you feel a little bit bloated, if you just saw some, for example, carry Underwood picture or post, what is done in in first of all, you don't know when that post is, when those pictures have been taken like often, with all these influencers, they are taking, Maybe pictures they are getting lean once in their life, taking 1000s of pictures, posts, what they are using then later. So they are using those to get leaner or periods of time that they put all their focus on how they are looking, getting like really, staying on top of their diet for short period of time, but there are very few people who are doing it, like 12 months in a year, because it's totally normal that at some point you will gain that you are not looking the best, best possible version of you, Because uninsured is that they're looking and looking amazingly, is going to be fun. It's it's not going to be sustainable. And if you are thinking that they are always looking so amazing, think this also celebrities. They are looking that they have a personal they have a big team who is taking those pictures. They are using Photoshops. They are using filters. They are having best lightning and often, they are taking those pictures in a short period of time and using same pictures for several, several months after or even years. And now you are comparing yourself against that population. Or if there is some fitness coaches who are posting before after pictures, I'm not a big fan of posting those, even I know that it would be probably the best marketing tool. But think about it like that, if I would run eight week challenge, what I'm, by the way, going to start in October. What it is, it's going to be 14th of October. So let's say that I have their 1000 people joining, and if I'm going to choose from those people, I would choose maybe five people to post there, before after pictures. And then you are seeing those in somewhere in my social media or or in in my a website or something, and then you're looking, wow, this is amazing progress. I would love to get the same. And now you are comparing. You are not, if you see, if you if I would post picture from someone who is like on average, which is still amazing and good progress, but you are not. You are comparing yourself with the top 0.5% of people, and not somewhere like, what is like maybe number 500 which is the influencers who are using this type of content. They don't post average results. They post only the best of the best. And of course, it's, it's my job as a coach. I try to provide like kind of realistic stories, realistic expectations, not using too many of like only, only the best possible content. So, so this is we are all different. We use I trust the progress. I trust people who are working with me, because that is that is always my highest priority to provide my services, to make sure that I'm best possible coach. What is possible to be, but that if you compare yourself with the top five, 0.5 top 1% of all people, there's no wonder that you feel silly about yourself because you You never know. Maybe some of those, they have a period of their life where they are simply solely focusing on their fitness, looking lean, getting ready for photo shoot, fitness competition, whatever code they might have and that, and following a plan that is like that you are basically eating from two per ware boxes. Every meal is measured. Everything is your your workouts are in calendar, and like all those celebrities, that's their full time job to look good, 24/7, and even then, they are struggling to maintain it for a whole year. True, but obviously, like I said, you take pictures and then it's for with those pictures, you can post them every single day and using them, and now there is somebody outside other side of the screen who is comparing themselves that why this looks it's so hard to get those same results that I'm not there where I should be. So, so how to set those realistic expectations and honest truth. What we talked also with the pet like with all these, these wings, those, what are good things? Like? If you think like that, you are looking more confident. You have there is so much less food chatter in her head like that. There is no and there is almost no pincs, no emotional eating health factors like cholesterol is reduced, and you have a she has a lot better work life balance. So I asked her that what she would choose, if she would choose like to having all these benefits, wins what she have had until now, or if that, if she would see the number on the scale, what she would like to see, if she would be look in a pictures or or in her clothes would be better, but she wouldn't have any of those mental wins, what she'd what she was just listening which one she would choose. And she said that night, then out of 10, she would always choose those, what she what results, what she already, already has. So it is even more important that mental well being mental wins than those actually those physical changes. But of course, we want to have them both. But the thing is that there is so many other ways how to measure your progress, and later, I'm going to tell you exactly what you should be following and what maybe focus a little bit less. Even day matters. Even they matter as well. So I think there's so many ways to for your progress and thinking like that. What is your situation in life? If you have had like external stressors, like something happening in your job, personal responsibilities, we don't impact into your fitness goals, but they need like, this is these are usually only temporary things, and it's how you are going to go through these periods of times, like if it's always your own health, your own priorities, like your own well being, what you are putting kind of on a back seat and focusing on everything else and then, but you are still expecting to get a results. So that is not going to be the way, how you think, and how it's going to work. So it's clear that you have, you have, you have set your own expectations something else that they would a lot higher than they should be and and the one thing, what I what I have used for myself, is always like, it's obviously every week is not perfect. But for example, with my workouts, I don't I know when there when I know that I have a busy week. I'm what I have made for myself is to get started two times per week my strength training, and this is something, what I have talked a lot, but I'm a person as a I'm I'm a fitness professional, but I don't enjoy doing strength training. I don't, I really don't think so. It's the, probably the last thing, what I would do, but I have been doing it consistently last three and a half years. And why is that? Because I know the benefits of doing it. There is so many benefits. I'm not going to list them now, but for your health, overall, well being. And I just feel it that if I don't, if I know, I know that if I start to miss my strength training, even that would be that is the number one on my list what I would like to miss that's going to impact in long, long term. So bad about my well being, my energy levels, that that is the last thing what I want to do. And like I said, in even in the busiest weeks, I promise to get started. And that workout two, three times per week, around one hour, but or doing strength training, and then all other things. Well, I naturally enjoy doing more like walking, hiking, playing, then he's playing hockey. So those are things I naturally enjoy, and that those I don't need motivation. Those I'm always I'm a person who is like, right away, ready to go, if somebody is just asking, but strength training, somebody is asking that you want to go strength training. I'm like that. I'm in my mind. I find 1000 excuses to not do it, but still, I have been able to do it. And the key for this is to learn to keep promises you make to yourself. Even doesn't matter what happens and it's, it's if I, if I can't make full one hour workout. I earlier, I used to tell myself or or talk myself out of doing it, that there's no point of doing like a 10 minute or 15 minute workout, because what is the point? Doesn't bring anything. But that is not the point. It's, they are bringing lot more than you believe, and most of all, it's all about keeping promises you make to yourself, because I know that if I start to skip my workouts, live one week out, next week becomes easier and so on. So sooner, sooner, soon I will realize that I'm I haven't been working out for a month, and then getting back on it, you kind of wait that perfect moment when the life is everything is settled down. And that is the reason by most people, when they when something happens in life, you are not they are not doing anything. And that was the case for me too. But now what changed everything is that I lowered my own expectations for myself and decided that all I have to do is to get started do one exercise. And once I know that I have, I'm there, I have done one exercise, I might end up doing second, third, or even finishing the workout. And that is, of course, makes huge difference in the long term. So this, these are, these are things, of course, I what I had to do is to ruthlessly block time for my own workouts. So it doesn't matter how busy my work is, how everything is going, but I'm going to block time for my own workout so I know when it's time to go, when it's time to get started. And that is that has helped me like that. I don't I try to talk less with myself to that should I should I go, or should I don't go? It's the time. It's time like for important meaning for myself that I have to get started. And that is how I have stayed past three and a half years, consistent with my workouts. Course, earlier it was I didn't have a plan. I didn't know what the exercise is exactly to do. I didn't know when exactly I'm going to do it, and it was always like that. I felt motivated. I did something, then something happened. I didn't do it, or life was work was busy, something happened, and that was the first thing I skipped, was my own health. And now, when I change that, I must do it. It's more important than than my work or anything that changed everything, then other topic, what we what we talk is those measurements, or how to measure if you are actually making progress. So obviously, most people focus solely on scale weight. I get bit to see that the scale weight should be lower and there should be you should be losing weight if, especially if, fat loss is your goal. But their scale is not the best way to measure it. Of course, it's if you have lot of weight to lose. If it's if it's that you you are obese or something that you have a lot of weight to lose, of course, go down, and if it's not going you probably need to change your methods. But how to actually use the scale like this is something, what I what we talked with a bit, what I have been doing, also, past three, four years. I wake myself every single day, so that's the first thing I do in the morning. I take my weight. I don't have any emotions attacked to it. It used to be that Fuck, fuck i i did something wrong. My scale spiked up. But now when I know that it's it happens, or there are some trends, when I know that if I had a later, I was eating later than usually, I was having more carbs than usually, my scale rate is going down, or if I had alcohol in let's say Friday, maybe on Saturday, my scale rate didn't go up, because alcohol is actually dehydrating you. So I might lost water weight or the Saturday morning, but then on Sunday morning, that all weight was back and or usually even higher. So those are factors and and kind of things. What I learned that this is happening and now, how I do it, I weight myself every single day. I basically what I track is my average rate per week. So this is kind of trend, what I'm following. Then you see average weight per per week, average weight per month, average weight per year. And if I don't like the trend, where the trend is going, then that's kind of alarming me, because often what I hear, especially people like me over 40, that you know, it's not you are not gaining weight. It's not happening like within a one week or two weeks or or even in a month, it's like that slowly increase of your weight, even despite that you are doing probably even the same things than earlier. But that, if the reason why that is happening is often especially for women, in this case, you might blame metabolism or your menopause, but plays a role. All chewed, but still, by far the most common reason why this is happening is because we are losing muscle mass, and we might become less active outside of your workouts than we used to be. Maybe there is some struggles with your sleep. If you are not sleeping at least seven hours. There are very, very few people who can survive with less than seven hours of sleep. And how is all that impacting is if you sleep too little, your energy levels are lower. You are going to move less if you are not paying attention for your protein intake, if you are not strength training. So those are factors that are affecting to your muscle mass, which again affects to your PMR. So that is an amount of calories your body burns when you are resting, when you are not working out. And those changes. Obviously, they are not massive, but within an ears, if that happens five years, 10 years at the age of because we start to lose our muscle mass around age of 3035, and that is going to be five to 10 pros per decade. So let's say that, and that is already that has a huge impact. It might be 100, 200 calories less in a day what your body needs. And now even, let's say that it's only 50 calories less per day. That's like a 15 minute walk. At the same time you are walking, maybe that 1000, 2000 steps less on average, than you used to be, and that already you are eating. You're doing everything else exactly the same. But in the long term, this is these are all small changes that are causing you that you are actually going to gain, like couple kilos per year. And because one kilo of that, it's around 7000 7500 calories. And if it's 50 calories per day, that's like 250 per week. 10 weeks, it's a half kilo in in in 20 weeks, so six months, it's going to be couple kilos. So there you get your 345, kilos per year. And with this, all these small changes, but are really hard to notice. So scale, you should what I always recommend, to wake yourself every single day, but use only average weight per week or month, and then you are able to recognize your trends. And of course, like in bed case, there is a lot other factors. If you are just starting your strength training, your body composition might have be or it is like in bed case, it's, it's, it's different because she's stronger, she's she's making huge progress in her workout. She have got stronger. She have built more muscle mass, but still, still. And she's seeing her body is changing. Body is looking different than before, but still, scale number is the same, and that is totally okay, because she's a person who doesn't have too much Abdul she's relatively lean for her age group and and those are all factors that are impacting so this, these are those factors and those improvements. They make huge, huge difference. And one thing, what we talk like, how do how to get over it? Like, what is the best way to measure your problems? Obviously, what I always say that use scale weight. Other thing is to take tape measurements, like tape measurements like from your legs, hips, arms, belly button. So those four measurements, they tell you pretty much the truth what is actually happening from pictures you are seeing. How the difference is. You might not see in a month, big difference. But if you compare yourself like three, every three months, every six months, you should be able to see some kind of results, and if, even if not, at some point of your life, even maintaining your progress, maintaining your results, if you have had very stressful past months, even maintaining everything that is actually a progress, because usually at this time, or as the in this period of time, busy period of life, you would probably lose your progress. So that is actually to maintain everything is a progress itself. So understanding that there is a different ways to make progress. And then other thing, what we talked also with the bit I got how to actually set, what kind of goals to set. And this is something what, especially for women, which is often changing everything when you start to focus more on how much stronger you can get, how much progress you can make that is a kind of mental change. What is usually changing everything. I have seen it with working with so many women so who are focusing solely on scale, getting frustrated not seeing enough progress. And then, you know, they are quitting thinking like that, what is the point? Because I don't see any results this. I don't bring anything. And then they go back to some finding some that diet, quick solution, quick fix. And in the long term, that that is often doing more hard than actually good. But when you are focusing on getting progress, for example, setting a workout goal, getting stronger, improving your form, improving increasing weight, increasing repetitions, and tracking your workouts. So this is, this is something, what really like for myself when I started to track my workouts, my how much weight I'm using. And then now, every once in a while when I look back in this exercise, but I haven't done for a while now, I do it again, and I see that, wow, two years ago, I had a five kilos less weight, or or 10 kilos less weight. I did same amount of repetitions, and I'm moving the holy seat, I have got so much stronger than I used to be. And that is, that is a progress. And that is, if you are making that progress, you are going to see difference how your body is changing. And that is kind of side effect. Without noticing it, you are not focusing to changing your body, how your body is looking. But this is the way how you actually get it when you focus less how fast or how slow your progress and how your how your body is changing, but you focus solely on your workouts, how much stronger you are getting, and when you because it's impossible to make to get Stronger without seeing difference in your body. And it's not. It doesn't mean looking like a bodybuilder that is not or getting too bulky. That's not happening by accident, because you have always option if you happen to see in a mural person who looks like a bodybuilder, you have always option to stop, do it, do it a bit less. But don't be afraid to get stronger. That is, that is the only way how to get more defined body, defined muscles, more tone legs or arms, or whatever your goal is. So when you start to focus track your workouts, uh, look that. How is that progress? Looking in a like week by week. For example, if you are doing some exercise three times 10 repetitions. So for me, that progress is like that. Okay, I start, I change my programs for me myself and for my clients, usually once In a month, so every four weeks, week one, four I can see from my workout app how much weight I have used the last time I did that exercise. And and app is my app is amazing in that way that it recommends you how much my starting weight. So then I do first set, then repetitions. If it feels like that, I could be doing more than two repetitions with the same weight. I will increase weight for my second set. And then if I still feel the same after second set, I will increase or decrease weight for the third set. And now I know for the week two where my starting weight should be. So maybe first set is kind of easy. And second set, I found find the right amount of weight. I will start with that weight week two, and then week three, I might be doing like one repetition more for first set, maybe maybe two game for one or two more repetitions. Third set, same thing. Maybe I'm not able to do it. Then week three, if I'm able to do more repetitions, I will increase weight for the first set, maybe reduce for the second set. But basically, adjusting to weight every single set that I'm I don't go to failure, barely, never, sometimes, but not depending on exercise. But for most exercises, I'm going thinking like that, if I'm making ugly faces, it's heavy that I can't do more than two repetitions. That is the amount of weight I should be using. And then it's week by week, it's increasing. And this is the way how you are actually making progress, how it's looking in real life, in the beginning, if you are someone who is in the beginning, in the beginning, you are seeing lot more progress, but longer you are doing it, less progress you can expect. And because it's it's progress in your workouts, if you are relatively new. You are just restarting or starting strength training. You can expect that you are making progress almost every single week or within one year. Let's say that you you can gain let's say that you are gaining five kilos of muscle mass first year, second year, you can take 50% of that amount. So what is realistic expectations. Year two is two and a half kilos gaining muscle mass. Year three, again, 50% from the two and a half. So now it's really with the same amount of work, same effort you are you can expect to see 1.2 kilo gaining muscle mass. Year four, it's okay 50% of that So, and that's why, like longer you are doing it, more you kind of have to focus on these advanced methods, like optimizing your workout program, optimizing your nutrition, sleep recovery and so on. So I pretty it's to make progress, but it's still definitely possible, and more you have to pay attention on details at the beginning. Basically, if you just get your workouts in, you are, you can expect to see amazing results. So these are, these are, these are kind of realistic expectations and practical tips how to track your workout progress. What is realistic expectation and when you do it? This is the way how you actually start to change your body. So one year is still relatively short time you are for sure, you are able to see some kind of results, but it depends always like, like, how long you have been doing it, what is your experience, and, of course, how much you are working out so, so this is, this is for workout part. Then, like I always already mentioned, then longer you're doing it, more you have to start to pay attention on your protein. To your you do your results more than you probably believe and but I guess it progress is not always linear, and it's, it's, there are so many ways, like especially your mental progress, if you are pinching, if you are emotional eating, if you are thinking, if you are a person who used to think food 24/7, and now you are not talking about it. You are not worried about if you happen to eat something, what you know you shouldn't be doing. And you are now. You are earlier you were like that, fuck, fuck, fuck, I missed everything. So it's there is no point i by scale rates spiked up. So what is the point? I start on Monday or Tuesday, and now you are like that? Okay, it's one meal. Doesn't matter, and now it's all what matters is getting back on track. And you get back on track on next meal and not worry about it, because that is part of being human, enjoying life and enjoy life. This health and fitness thing needs to improve your life quality and not taking it away. So they need there is so many other ways for that progress, what you can what you can do, be doing. And one thing is that finding that balance between mental and physical well being so so don't let those physical or lack of physical changes dictate your self worth, so you are still doing amazing, and it's totally normal. It's okay to skip workouts or not being perfectly spot on every single day with your nutrition or every single week or even every single month. So just think that there's so many other ways how to measure your progress and when you focus on these things, balancing your life being kind of time for yourself, regardless what happens, do not quit, because quitting, in the end, it's the only way to fail in this fitness game. This is not the this is not a race where you have a deadline, like you might have a call in your mind when you have to reach it. But ultimately, if you really think it like, what is the point? What is the matter? If you reach the goal, if it's if it takes longer than you would like it to take. Because I don't know any person who, after they have reached their original goal, if it took longer that they are saying that Fuck, I'm I feel like a failure. It took longer than I would like, because they are, they are like that holy city, proud of myself to work what I did that I didn't give up, and it doesn't and at that moment, you are proud of yourself, and it doesn't matter how long it took until you get there. And the only way to get there is to not, not to quit. This is something. On october 14, I'm going to start my eight week challenge, and this is the challenge where I personally take care of setting expectations, setting a course, what is, what are example group for your life, situations, for your workouts, what makes sense at this point to get started, and even it's an only eight week challenge, it's not the it's My goal, is that you love it so much in this challenge that you are sticking longer with my inexpensive blueprint membership, where you have all tools, all workouts get getting taken, kind of that guesswork away from you so you know exactly what to do. You don't have to worry like you don't have to think that, what should I be doing next? And all these programs I have already created there, there's a different goals to focus each time of the year. Because, honest to me, most of you all kind of different goals, improving your cardio, improving your strength, and that is totally fine, but you should not focus everything at the same time, instead focusing maybe three months improving your cardio while maintaining your strength, next three months improving your strength and maintaining your endurance and cardio, and then kind of when you focus on different kind of goals or depending on situation in your life, that is the way how you end up, within six months, within one year, to reach all your goals and not getting kind of overwhelmed and thinking that, what if I'm doing this right or wrong, and focusing on everything at the same time? And then you feel like that there is no progress at all, because you are just trying to take too much on your plate. So in this sense, I create personally workout plans for you. You have, we have, we are together weekly, how everything is going. So there is kind of the support, accountability part in a group people who are going through exactly the same thing. So you are knowing that you are not alone. And I hope to that to see you inside. I put link for my Sonos the registration wait list I know if that registration is already open at that time, and that the podcast is coming out, it should be, but in case, there's a waitlist, and when you join the waitlist, you will be the first one to know when registration is open. So thank you for listening. If you find this episode helpful, I would appreciate five star review on iTunes, on Spotify, those are helping so much to reach more people. And if you know someone who you care and you know this episode would help them to set realistic expectations, I would love to share it just with one of your friends. So thank you for you soon.